I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom.


So I’m a mom, most of you know this by now. On May 9th I gave what might be the fastest birth ever ( twenty minutes) to the adorable little baby bird featured below. I bet once I announced my pregnancy people sat back in all their glory waiting for me to eat humble pie. After all, I’ve said some pretty opinionated things on here about parenting.   Here are some thoughts people probably had…

But I thought you hated kids? Not true, I like kids who aren’t assholes. Basically if I like the parent, I’ll like their kid.

I bet you regret saying all those things about social media and over sharing. I’ll be honest, its hard not to post an adorable photo of her everyday, I limit my Instagram photos. We announced the birth on Facebook but I stuck to my guns on posting 3D baby images. We actually kept the gender and name off social media all together until she was born.

Do you regret all those judgy comments about parents who don’t clean their home?  NOPE! I go nonstop with M. But I still find time to push a fucking Swiffer around the house every few days.

What about your love of too much booze? I’m not one of those ladies who loved being pregnant. It was awful. I threw up for ten months, often on myself on the way to work. Giving up booze was the easiest part of being pregnant. Even now it takes me at least two hours to drink a glass of wine.

Don’t get me wrong, parenting is hard. I don’t know how  single parents or people with twins do it. The first week of my daughter’s life I sat up every night crying while nursing her for two hours at a time with a twenty-minute break in-between feedings thinking my life was over. It gets a little easier each day, I’m sure other moms judge me all the time, but you know what? I don’t care.

midge