First time for everything.

I never thought I would say this but I owe a group of Hipsters an apology. Yesterday ten of them came into the restauraunt for brunch and sat in my section. At first I said to myself  Oh great Hipsters, I’m gonna have to make ten pots of fucking tea. Only three of them ordered tea and only two made a point to tell everyone at the table they are vegetarian and had to modify their order. Best of all these Hipsters tipped really well!

So now the order of people I hate waiting on goes as such…


Anyone with a child

Large groups of women

People who put ketchup on their food


It’s not cute when you kid does this, it’s fucking annoying.


Metallica Day!!!!!!

It’s officially my last full day of North End living. My  apartment has been good to me.  I’ve made lots of awesome meals here, drank too much wine  in my bathrobe on a Friday night while enjoying the company of the Red Headed Bastard. I’ve fallen in love here and shot numerous amounts of bucks while playing Deer Hunter with friends while gorging on cheese.

I’m going to miss North End life. But most of all I’m going to miss this…

All summer long you can catch my neighbour hanging out in his fridge fort. Blasting Fog Hat and enjoying a Schooner! He’s awesome, on Halloween he stands outside with a karaoke machine singing Monster Mash all night in a mono tone voice and most importantly, he is a constant reminder to hipsters that real poor people actually live in this neighbourhood!

New Rule

Anyone I see wearing giant hipster glasses that are obviously fake gets the following question asked to them…

Are those lenses real?

And when they answer no, I get to say…

Weird, so you just wear giant fake glasses then???

I have to wear glasses everyday. They are a whore. I can’t wear contacts because poking myself in the eye makes me want to puke and I have scar tissue in the back of my eyes so laser surgery is also out. You can’t take glasses away from hot nerds, that’s pretty much all we have going for us!

This guy better thank his lucky stars I’m asking that question and not punching him in the back of the head.

Rich People 1, Hipsters 0

Back to work after a pretty snazzy weekend filled with delicious and perfectly cooked meat from The Keg, followed by too many beers at Gus’ Pub. Although Gus’ is filled with filthy hipsters, I am willing to over look it as they are the only bar the serves Schooner beer. One thing I’m not willing to over look however is hipsters winter fashion choices.

I guess it’s now cool for hipsters to wear an old neon Sunice or Farwest winter jacket. Hey hipsters, you know who beat you to this witty fashion statement? Rich people. Rich people like to attended novelty ski days where they wear jackets from the early 90’s and everyone has a good laugh over how stupid they were to spend $200.00 on a jacket in 1993.

Better luck next season hipsters. Maybe you can bring back jelly shoes or Hammer Pants. Rich people have no desire to wear either of these products while on their fancy and expensive days of leisure.