The owls are not what they seem


So Burger King has purchased Tim Horton’s. I’m hoping this brings forth a few changes…

1. Toasted bagels instead of warmed dough slathered in butter thrown into a see through greasy bag.

2. Three point check system for hot beverages. Is the lid secure? Did you make sure  not to place the mouth of the lid on the seam of the cup? Did you wipe the coffee you spilled all over the side from over pouring into the cup? It goes without saying that they have made my beverage order correctly…although they fuck up my tea with milk at least twice a month.

3. Maybe if your store motto is Always Fresh you actually prepare things that way.

4. Bring back the old sprinkles for the vanilla dip. The new ones are fucking awful, it’s like a mouthful of blue chalk!

5. Bring back the Cherry Pie.

6. Nice lids, you have them in your store. If I order an over priced hot chocolate, I can have one. Just start using them all the time!!!

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This better not interfere with my Wendy’s Spicy Chicken Sandwich consumption! I swear to god, I will go ape-shit it does!

 

 

 

 

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Saving’ all your food stamps and burning’ down the trailer park.


Normally Facebook friend recommendations couldn’t be more off . I think we all remember the Tyrone Debrown incident… (White friends, there is no need to post in Ebonics, that’s just plain racist!)But I’d love to know what I have in common with some of the people Facebook recommends I befriend…Take the guy below, He’s like 80 and can’t operate a camera. Yet social media thinks we could have some things in common.I bet we both enjoy eating supper at 5pm and wearing slippers around the house.

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But I’m in love with this couple! I can already tell based on their profile pic, they’re better than me. For starters they have a fucking owl at their wedding and secondly he looks like Lord Baelish! They look like the kind of couple who purchase a normal size bottle of wine and only drink a glass of it at dinner, instead of a magnum that’s empty within three hours and then have no memory of going to bed after watching a marathon of Twin Peaks on a Friday Night.

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