Lindsay Lohan has been looking good these days. Her Knockers are being contained in sweaters saving us all from her awful side boob. She doesn’t look strung out on coke. I’m going to give her an 8/10 appearance wise, she looks reality TV star good. Keep it up!
I’ve got a lot going on over the next two months…
Work is sending me to Toronto this weekend for a Parent Information Session. I really enjoy the opportunity to promote the school I work for and meet with potential students so I’m excited for this. But I’m even more excited for Duff’s Saucy Fingers and visiting with Brethren Lewis and his family!!!!
I’m hosting a Girls Potluck Brunch, drinking at 11am and enjoying my number three favorite sauce….Hollandaise Sauce on everything!!!
My amazing friends are in the middle of planning another all day drinking event for me. My shower and bachelorette party. I’ve made a rule of no penis items. I’m 31 years old, I’ve seen one before . I don’t need to get around town with a penis sippy cup. Luckily one of my bridesmaids is a lesbian and will be on top of policing the no dick paraphernalia rule.
And more than anything else…I’m getting married to someone I’ve known for over twenty years in 62 days time! SB and I are both so excited to head to the Dominican with our friends and family. I can’t wait to call myself his wife! I’ve also purchased a Vera Wang wedding gown for myself to wear on the big day. I’m pretty excited over that too!
Normally someone talking during a movie causes me to become irate. I fully believe in SB’s recommendation to force people into a room where they have to be quite for two whole hours and upon completion they are given a permit card that allows them into public theaters. But my experience the other night while watching Ride Along was almost as delightful as the movie itself.
Here are some of the comments that came from the woman sitting behind us…
Philip, Philip wake up! I thought you said you liked cop movies!!??!!
Have you ever tried one of those green teas?? If Wal-Mart is still open on the way home we can stop and get one.
Their brother and sister?? Now I’m just confused.( PS the premise of the movie was, if you want to date my sister,come on a ride along…)
She made several other comments you couldn’t really make out, but they were loud and had a similar sound to a baby dinosaur who just hatched from its egg.
Can we just take a moment to acknowledge the jacket being worn by Justin Bieber’s ride along partner in his DUI arrest is the modern day equivalent to an 8 Ball Jacket???
For those of you interested in purchasing a coat like the one featured here. I’m almost positive someone smoking outside the Highland Square Mall would have a similar one on and could tell you where they bought it in 2002.
Jax Teller. He cheats on his wife, he murders people and he wears the worst shoes ever… Yet we still love him.
Any character played by Danny McBride . But for real, if you are dating someone like this in real life…You need to breakup with that person. Because they are awful. Seriously.
Biff Tannen in the first Back the Future only. No one fantasizes about Velor Leisure-suit Millionaire Biff Tannen from the second movie.
Dennis Reynolds. He’s narcissistic, selfish and tapes all of his sexual encounters. And apparently this isn’t too far off from what he is like in real life either…
I’ll be the first to admit, I love the show Sons of Anarchy. But Jesus Christ guys, walking around New Glasgow with white sneakers, greased back hair and a generic leather cut does not make you a member of SAMCRO. You are not, nor will you ever be a member of the Reaper Crew, mainly because they are a fictitious gang created for entertainment purposes. Other pretend gangs you might want to consider being apart of include The Heather’s and Satan’s Mothers.
Everyone started off Junior High with the same haircut, regardless of how cool you were…
Then they started to part it in the middle and grow it out.
After the grown out mushroom reached it peak, guys discovered the Caesar Cut along with cable knit Tommy Hilfiger turtle necks.
Then bleaching your hair and letting it grow out so you had “roots” was the hottest thing a guy could ever do*
Sometime in the early 2000’s shaggy hair was the new hot thing a guy could do. Usually this hair cut was accompanied by a trucker hat, seashell necklace or a witty graphic t from American Eagle.
* A guy from town named Larry once bleached out his already disgusting long hair, then continued to let it grow twice in length, this was not a hot look. His face and hair actually made him look identical to Jesus. **
** This is not the same Larry I’m planning on marrying in 80 days time.