So long 2012, You’ve been great!

Last day of 2012, I’m ready for 2013 and I’m also ready for the bacon craze to go out with 2012. Don’t get me wrong, I love bacon. I would eat it for every meal if I could. But enough is enough. Is bacon good? Yes. Do we need a million bacon inspired products? No. I honestly think bacon is becoming the new cool Bro thing. Ah check out my bacon condoms. Yeah cause that’s the scent I want up all over my lady parts…


I fucking love nachos, but you don’t see me going around taking photos of a two piece nacho inspired bikini.


Oh god I’m dying…

So the world didn’t come to an end. Given the amount of Rum I consumed with BKGG last night I wish it had of. I honestly think this is what the diabetes feels like. Here’s a photo of a dog who looks like Ron Pearlman.



And so begins Ludachristmas!!!!

It’s the eve of the Apocalypse and if the world ends tomorrow you better believe I  plan on spending it eating Cocoanut Shrimp, listening to Chickenfoot and getting out of control Christmas drunk. Although I don’t think the world will really end given that when Western Civilization switched over to the Gregorian calendar 11 days were dropped from its cycle. Meaning December 21 2012 has already happened if you go by the Maya calendar. Either way, I plan on getting extra Christmas drunk this year just in case!


If the world does end, know that I lived out my dream by having this poster created.

Two more days of filling a seat

In my opinion a 19-year-old Hazel working at the Aberdeen Mall surrounded by a bunch a taxidermy deer wearing Airwalks  back in 2000 will always be the greatest Mall Santa. But since no one seems to have a photo of this I present Hilarious Mall Santas!

ms4I made the mashed potatoes with my good hand…

ms3Nice little traumatizing mask.

ms5Santa looks like he got into a fight at the Bombers Club.

Sorry for missing two posts last week!

If you are an adult who wears any of the following items, chances are I have very little respect for you…

Sweaters with cartoon characters. Oh I just love that Winnie the Pooh sweatshirt you’re wearing! Said no one ever.

Pants with a descriptive written across the bum. What goes through the mind of a 36-year-old women while getting dressed in the morning. What should I wear today? Oh I know, my plaid pants that say Angel ….No maybe my joggers that have Hottie written across the bum those would look awesome on me today!

Facial Piercings were cool when I was 17 in 1999, but if you’re a 33-year-old who gets their tongue pierced, I just feel bad for you. It reminds me of the 60-year-old woman who works at Robin’s Doughnuts on North Street. I don’t even want to think about why she has that thing.

ANYTHING with a Playboy logo…  Unless you are a mail order bride who is new to this country, it’s totally unacceptable.

PoohRedSweatshirtwithlotsofPoohIconsonthefrontThis would look just sweet with a little turtleneck.

Leave it on the doorstep and get the hell outta here.

I love all things Christmas. The following are my favorite holiday treats!

The cheese ball is my equivalent to the Mexican nacho dip at a regular party. If you don’t put one out, I’ll judge you.

Any sort of ball-shaped treat, peanut butter balls, cherry balls, truffles I don’t care what they are. As long as they were made in a clean kitchen by someone who is well-groomed I’m interested!

Shrimp Rings, I like to put them in my mouth two at a time so people can’t tell how many I’ve really had!

9am Caesars. Once December 21st hits, it’s totally fine to start drinking as soon as you get out of bed.

Glazed Ham, and all things Ham leftover related…

Big Marg’s Sweet and Sour Meatballs and Nanny Lewis Za


I like to think that the Christ part in the word Christmas is just short for Christopher Kringle!