Christmas Advice for Crappy Gift Buyers…

I have a total of five nieces and nephews to buy for this year. Christmas is a great time to assert my status as Number One Aunt by showering the kids with useless toys. People always go on about how their kids don’t need toys. One year I followed this advice and bought our nephew brown cords  instead of something awesome. He lost his shit and yelled ” I hate pants for Christmas” I can’t blame him. I’d be fucking pissed too if someone bought me a pair of shitty old brown corduroy pants for Christmas. That’s the female adult equivalent to  receiving a $99.99 Charm Diamond Center Heart Shape Diamond Pendant.

Next we move onto people who want to have an ” Old Fashion Christmas.” Not once during Childhood did I think to myself while opening a gift  Oh I hope it’s a wooden toy . What am I fucking Amish??Don’t worry kids, I’ve learned my lesson on shitty gifts, everyone is getting sweet gifts this year that you will play with once and then forget all about!

Best Christmas Movie Ever.


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