Ten days until the all you can eat Cheese Buffet!!!

I am sporting the most unfortunate set of bangs ever today. Seriously it looks like my  mom curled my bangs for church. I blame this entirely on my hat and the dry winter air. Now I have to spend the day  talking to people while they pretend not to notice my Church Bangs.

I’m not even joking they look like Stephanie Tanner’s  Bangs…


Why doesn’t Tim Horton’s offer Baked Beans?

As much as I love my child free lifestyle there is one huge down side to being a childless self absorbed woman in her late 20’s. The expectation that I will be the one to do everything no one else wants to do at work because I don’t have to rush home to a family.

If it’s deemed acceptable for parents to leave early for Christmas Concerts or a Birthday Party it should  be ok for me to take off early when I feel like going to a movie some afternoon. If I ever told my employer that I was taking off  because I’m meeting my boyfriend for dinner  and I needed to head home and get ready even though I still had a pile of work that needs to be completed. I would more than likely be fired. Yet leaving the office at 2pm to get your kid ready for Halloween is totally fine.

I believe that if parents can call in sick because their kid has the flu, I should have the right to take a day off because my dog has to go to the vet. I’m not saying that parents don’t have the right to stay home. I think it’s important that they do these things. I just feel that childless couples should be just as entitled to all of this extra free time off too.

I think I’m onto a new White Girl Back from Vacation Trend.

I’m pretty sure all the white women of the world got together and voted to stop getting braids while on vacation because I haven’t noticed a single person sporting this look once this year. But the new trend worries me…

Today a woman got on the elevator the same time as I did. She was really tanned and wearing a pair of black dressy pants. The pants featured a big yellow snake and a bunch of roses going up the left leg. On the other side was the name of her resort.

I don’t even know what category I would place these pants under. They went beyond the typical white trash  Hit the Ground Partying’ terri cloth sweat suit.  I can only assume she bought these pants at the resort gift shop  and her Husband told her she looked like a young hottie and then she deemed them appropriate for work wear.

I’m pretty sure Mariah Carey invented tacky vacation outfits.

I’m gonna play some Heavy Metal riffs and you will die.

There are certain things couples need to keep off Facebook. I have a boyfriend, we’re in love. However, we don’t feel the need to do the following …

Annoying status updates about our love. I’m not jealous that your boyfriend wrote a poem for you. I just don’t give a fuck.

Taking photo’s of yourselves in bed. Why you feel the world needs to know what the two of you look like just before you have sex is beyond me. It’s not romantic or sweet. It’s sick. Oh look a whole album of two people making out in their tank top and undies…I can’t wait to look at this. Post some real photos of doing the deed and then you’ll have my interest and a million comments!

Taking your lame photo’s to the next level and picnic-ing them. GAG ME!!!! Posting the lyrics to a Celine Dion song over your photo isn’t romantic. You look like a fucking child.

This last one will bother a few of you…

Posting a million photos of your baby on Facebook and constantly ranting about how you have the cutest baby ever that just makes you love each other more. Are you kidding me?? The only thing more annoying than someone who adds a new photo of their kid everyday is having someone post that little pregnancy stick they pee on to let everyone know they are expecting. When SB knocks me up, its staying off Facebook entirely. If I want my friends to compliment my baby for being cute they can come to my house and do so.

Excellence of Execution

It’s Tuesday, a new Teen Mom 2 featuring Janelle Evans getting into a fight over Kiefer is on tonight and you better belive Kiefer is wearing his signature green hoodie! But more importantly The Royal Rumble is only five days away!

SB and I have agreed on ordering this event on Pay Per View this Sunday. Watching WWE in a Pay Per View setting is pretty nostalgic for me. Back in High School you could only do this by driving to ShawCable and renting the box for $50.00 or by having my Uncle Harry lend you one of his black boxes. My Uncle Harry can fix anything including old discarded cable boxes.  Brethren Lewis and I would gather with his friends in the basement to watch every major WWE event from 1995-2000 all thanks to my Uncle.

This was awesome for me on two levels. One I was able to watch a wrassling event and two because I got to be around all the cool kids while watching ! I’m thinking Sunday nights event will require the accompaniment of Hostess Party Mix. Normally I’m too embarrassed to buy a bag  even though I love party mix, it’s basically  a mixture of all the trashy chips in one sweet package but I’m will to make an exception for such a big event!

This might be my first post without a swear!

I’m down to 17 days until Mexico. In one last attempt to lose weight I have made the switch from my beloved Earl Grey Tea to Green Tea. Green Tea has a ton of health benefits that would be awesome if it wasn’t for the fact this tea tastes like hot garbage. I can’t tell if I’m excited to go away or just to have a Miami Vice. I’m debating on when I want to have my first drink. On one hand I want to order one as soon as we get to the resort but on the other hand I feel like I should wait and order my first one when I’m on the beach. I’ve dreamed about this drink for over a year now. And while I could make one at home very easily I’m too lazy and it just wouldn’t be the same.

This is my favorite photo ever. I just wish it wasn’t so god dam blurry.