And now my Asshole Moment of 2011…

Yesterday a guy was walking into the office and as he opened the door the most adorable Golden Retriever  ever poked his head in first (Dogs are pretty common around our office, I often bring Red into work with me.)  As soon as I saw the dog I yelled… Hey Big Man, come here and see me.  I proceeded to get  down on my knees and started slapping on the floor to call him over. While the dog was making his way over I looked up and realized the he was  Working guiding a Blind Man. As embarrassed as I was  over what I just did I still felt really bad for the little fella. I got him all excited with the promise of a scratch and some love and then I didn’t deliver on it.

So while the man was standing by the door talking to the Receptionist I sat in a chair by the dog and stuck my finger out to give him a little scratch on the cheek. Technically he wasn’t working he was just sitting as his owner asked a few questions. I also then realized that just because the man had a Seeing Eye Dog didn’t mean he was entirely blind because he  pulled the dog away from me and seemed genuinely annoyed with me.

Is it just me or does anyone else have to hold back when they see a Working Dog? You just want to run up to one and give him a hug and a little kiss for being such a loyal and loving dog. Even though they sometimes wear signs telling you not to but that just makes me want to do it even more.  Maybe the owners of these dogs could hold some sort of day where people like me can visit them and shower the dogs in treats and love.


See you in 2012!

A very big thank you is going out to the lovely Dr.Tink for today’s topic of obvious facts I wish to avoid discussing over the Holiday Season.

1. Yes, my divorce is finalized. No, I do not wish to discuss the details with every single member of my family.

2. I’ve gained 15 pounds over the last year. I’ll thank you not to point it out to me by saying things like ” Oh you look hearty”

3.  No, I didn’t receive an engagement ring from my boyfriend this year. I’m pretty sure the ink is still wet on my Divorce Agreement. He bought me a trip Mexico ! We’ll get married when we feel like it.

4. I realize I’m 29 and  I’m not pregnant. The fact that I plan on  getting black out drunk and waking up at noon for an entire week has me feeling pretty good about our decision to hold off on kids.

Happy Holiday’s Everyone!

It just wouldn’t be the Holiday’s without my photo tribute to Krampus!

I’m almost done!

I could care less when people buy knockoff purses. In fact I support buying a knockoff Louis Vuitton bag over a real one because everyone who sees you with it will assume its a fake anyway. But what really drives me insane is when you ask someone Is that a real ( Insert Brand Name ) and they respond with…

I bought it from a street vendor in New York/Montreal/ Seoul that sells knockoffs, but I’m pretty sure this one is real. 

Yeah I’m sure its real too. The 8-year-old kid in India who sews knockoff items for $3.00 a week brought their genuine Coach Wallet to work that day and somehow lost it in the pile of fake Coach Wallets and then it landed in your hands somehow…

Check out all these sweet Leslie Vuitton’s for sale!

Nice, I’m never nice…

Contrary to what people who might run into me today believe, I didn’t wash my hair with bacon grease. I just forgot to wash it in general while in the shower today. I stood under the water for a good three minutes trying to figure out why I was done so quickly. I thought it was because I’m in such a good mood this morning and I just did everything really fast!

Turns out it’s because I skipped a step.I didn’t realize it until I started to blow dry my hair and after ten minutes it still looked wet…I don’t have time to get back in the shower so I’m just gonna wear a hat all day and avoid seeing people.

Yeah I basically look like this today…

Here I come Extream Tanning!!!

I’m getting pretty excited over a lot of things these days! Christmas Eve is 5 days away. My Birthday is in two weeks and best of all in 54 days I will be back in Mexico all thanks to my fantastic Boyfriend!

I’m hoping the time passes by quickly.I can’t wait to fill my lungs with the smoke from American Cigarettes while sitting on a beach drinking Miami Vices all day! The only thing I’m not looking forward to is the ten pounds I need to lose before the trip. I’ve decided that I’m going to swear off after work drinks and two glasses of wine every night after January 1st . It might also help if I start exercising, so I’m gonna force myself to do that too.

I’m also giving anyone who sees me eating fast food permission to punch it out of my hands when you see me eating it, with the exception of my New Year’s Day hangover meal at KFC. Luckily Diet Pepsi is making a come back for me on January 1st. I can stop drinking those god awful Arthur’s Smoothies.

Rebecca of the Future?? Is that you?

Jobs I’ve always wanted…

I have always wanted to work at the following three locations…

The Sobeys Deli Counter. I don’t want to work in any other area of the store and I only want to go in for 3 hours a day to make Salads, Chicken and the Pre-made Sandwiches. I also want to wear my own clothing.

The New Glasgow West Side Dairy Queen. Again with limits and rules. I don’t want to wait on people or come incontact with money. I just want to make the ice cream orders and invent new Blizzard Flavors. I would also accept a Chicken Strip Basket as payment for my one hour of labor each day.

Magic Valley.  Although now it’s a decrepit shit hole. In it’s glory days I would have loved to work there or just have a sleepover there so I could play track down with all my friends.