I love going to old people’s birthday parties. They offer everything I love about a party. It’s in the middle of the day. Small sandwiches are put on display in a church basement along with a tray of biscuits and cheese. Coffee and tea are served from giant thermoses. They always have a carrot cake and squares on hand but because old people don’t overly care for sweets I can take as much as I like!
But perhaps what I love the most about this kind of event. I don’t have to sit around for an hour watching people open gifts that aren’t for me. Whenever an old person has an anniversary or a birthday they tell you to show up with best wishes only. The odd asshole shows up with a gift but they wait until they get home to open it.