Monday Morning Hang Over… Vacation Edition !


To quote Hank Williams Jr. All my rowdy friends have settled down.  I want to send a big congrats out to Sly and his wool for getting married over the weekend! Sorry I couldn’t mak it out to BC for the festivities.

 I had a pretty eventful weekend though. I was able to cross off number 3 on my 30 before 30 list Visit a winery and remember leaving! Slutbanger and I went on a visit to the Jost winery with his sister and his hilarious 3-year-old niece.  The last time I went to a wine tasting event was at the Italian Wine show. I was volunteering and lets put it this way. I don’t think they will ask me to come back next time.

I volunteered to sneak away from my station and get hammered. In the process I met an old man who has business cards that looked like some sort of 1980’s regal cigarette pack. Oddly enough he turned out to be a weirdo who would email me at work asking if I would come visit him. 

I don’t know who these two are but  would love to visit a winery with them!

So long bra, I’m on vacation !


I’m officially on vacation and I plan on wearing my bathing suit the entire time! We kicked vacation off last night with Chicken Nachos a bottle of Pinot Noir and followed up with a visit to our local movie store. I was pretty excited over Block Buster going bankrupt, 70% off wrestling DVD’s only encouraged my excitement.  Then I came to the realization that Netflix blows and the only video store in our neighborhood is god fucking awful.

The new release section  includes 8 Crazy Nights, Never Been Kissed, Mr. 3000 ( didn’t Berney Mac die like 4 years ago??) and a large selection of the Air Bud movies.  The also have a porn room. It’s basically a swinging door that host a sign held up with hockey tape reading Adults Only and the largest variety of VHS porn I have ever seen!

Nothing says Important Business Lady like taking the bus to a client visit.


Luckily I have an amazing boyfriend and a fantastic friend named Finney who both did everything they could to help accommodate me with my lost car key yesterday!

 It’s a good thing my vacation starts at 5pm today because if I have to deal with one more idiot calling me to say ” I’m looking for a job, what do you have” I’m going to have a Michael Douglas Falling Down moment.* I’m looking forward to an entire idiot free week! 

SB and I are going to Cape Breton for the weekend and have a few day trips planned throughout the week. The Red Headed Bastard is staying with his grandparents and Andy Mac, formally BKGG is home from Korea!! I have a feeling a box of wine will be consumed between the two of us at some point in time this week.

Suckerbacks are in order!

* I’m just kidding HR department , no need for a crisis intervention.

Here is why today is not awesome


My landlord cashed a December rent cheque on July 1st, then yesterday found the July first cheque for $1300.00 and deposited before talking to me or the bank. I leave for vacation in 3 days and I now have a negative balance in my bank account.

I have a doctor apt in Bedford for lady stuff at 3 pm today.

Yesterday a container of corn salsa exploded in my lunch bag. It made its way onto the contents of my purse so I had to empty it out. I’m pretty sure in the process I threw my one and only car key in the garbage.

I feel like this gorilla.

Don’t ever try to cut your boyfriends hair…


Or anyones hair for that matter unless you’re a hair dresser. But that’s not what today’s story is about. …

Not too long ago Live at 5 did a story on little birds attacking people. I didn’t really tune into  the news segment as I was busy making fun on the sentence “Tonight on Live at 5, why are so many birds in HRM attacking people?” Well it turns out I should have paid more attention.

Today on my way to work a bird flew into my face. It’s wing and body touched the side of my head. It almost went into my hair! If I had to wrangle a bird out of my hair I would have puked right there on the sidewalk. My hair is pulled back in a really cute braid today so the little fucker would have been throughly entangled .

I realize it was just a little Sparrow, but in my mind it looks like this.

Seek and Distroy.


Sorry for missing Friday’s post. The giant cloud of weed smoke  hovering over my head  while at the Metallica concert on Thursday turned me into a Zombie on Friday. The concert was amazing though!! You know what’s not amazing, people who bring the following foods to a party…

Ambrosia Salad, If I invite you into my home and you show up with this. I will flat-out tell you to leave!

Coleslaw. There is just something unsettling about serving a side dish that looks like it was created by having someone throwup into a bowl.

Pasta salad made with Kraft salad dressing or too much mayo…Get the fuck out of my house.

 

 

Hit the Lights


Today is the day every small town kid has dreamed about since Junior High School, for today is Metallica Day!!!!!

SB has friends coming home from across the country for this event. The only way today could get any better is to somehow have a mobile Pictou County ZA wagon set up downtown Halifax. Or to have anyone who is still in New Glasgow and reading this post show up to my apartment with a large combination from Alice’s Pizza.