Back to a life where I can’t start drinking until noon.

Back from vacation. Today will be the longest day in the history of my work career. Usually around this time I’m use to piling my plate with cheese and then making my way down to the beach where its ok to scratch your boobs in public. The rest of this week is going to be horrible. Enjoy the pics.

All cheese buffet station!

Any other time of the year waiting in line at a bar for a drink at 10 makes you an alcoholic.

Visit into town.

I am willing to bet a very large amount of money, this guy is from Atlanta. You should have seen his wool. She was wearing denim leggings and boots with the fur…

O’ lay!


Back to the Beach.

One year ago today I decided to start blogging about my love of drinking alone and other general topics of social awkwardness. I’ve come a long way in one year. Kind of…

To celebrate,  I’m taking a few weeks off and going on vacation. I’m finally going to bring myself to wear flip-flops and a two piece in public. I even bought a giant straw hat as I have convinced myself I’m cool enough to pull one-off on vacation.  I have purchased somewhere around 5 or 6 bottles of hand sanitizer and every anti pooping medication known to man.

See you in two weeks!

Maybe I should invest in a sweet ” Hit the ground partyin’ outfit” Like MC here.  

Happy St.Paddy’s Day

In honour of St.Paddy and all the great things religion did for Ireland, I present drunk sluts!

I think this one is my favorite.

If this was me, I would actually be more embarrassed over the Wal-Mart shoes than the puke.

Who hasn’t taken a pee outside when hammered??

Mama Cat once found me in the upstairs bathroom passed out on the floor. I pulled every last towel out of the linen closet and made a sweet nest to sleep in.

Oooohhhh What a Rush!

I wonder what percentage of my Facebook friends who continue to devote their status updates to the disasters in Japan actually donated money to a relief cause?

On a lighter note, I discovered the Olly Fresco’s lunch buffet yesterday! Oh my god they have everything. Even ham!!! Yesterday I had the following. A chicken samosa, cheese, grape leaves, tabouli salad, couscous and a hard-boiled egg. ( I don’t know why I felt it necessary to add the egg into the mix)

I’m going back today for some mac and cheese and to try the ham! I normally hate buffets because cheap families take their kids who in turn breath on all the food and touch it with their dirty fingers. However this buffett is higher end and I like to think that working professional adults wash their hands after a poop.

I once worked with a woman who looked just like this…

Il Planeta Delle Scimmie.

One week from today and I’m in Mexico! Even though I didn’t workout once since booking the trip I look lovely and slim in my two piece thanks to the flu I had all last week! 

Cosmo magazine tells me this trip with move my relationship with Slutbanger up a notch too. They also have an article in this months issue on how to tell if your guy is going to dump you. Seriously ladies. If you have to read an article in Cosmo magazine to figure out your on your way out the door, you kind of deserve the boot. Here are the some of the signs

He stops inviting you out with his friends.

He no longer touches you or lets you near him.

He stops spending time with you.

First of all, if my boyfriend ever tried to pull any of this I would be the one getting rid of him. I’m not going to wait around for the remaining four signs to show up! Unless you’re on Teen Mom or just completely missed that chapter in grade 8 health class on mental abuse, you should already know this stuff!

Check out how douchy The Biebs dad is…He totally takes girls on dates and then forgets his wallett.

Epic Fail BK

I’m not a huge Burger King fan, I’m more of a Brazier Burger kind of girl. And the  new BK Stuffed Steak House Burger isn’t doing anything for me either. Stuffed with process cheese and jalapeño peppers. Why not just call it the new diarrhea burger or the farts that burn when they come out burger. For shame Burger King…For shame.