Owner of a lonely heart


I have a feeling my reality show about playing Jenga and drinking tea on Saturday nights with BKGG isn’t going to fly with the producers of MTV. So I have moved onto a new money-making scheme, I just have to convince Slutbanger it’s a good idea as it involves our dating story.

We were set up by our mutual good friend Fear ( We like to call him Hazel the Match Maker) SB and I actually grew up in the same town but never really spoke to each other until Hazel set us up. I have to say he gives Patti Stranger a run for her money . So my plan is to replace Hazel with Eharmony, sell my story to them and get paid to star in a commercial. Pitching the idea that he was there all along but it took their dating website to bring us together. We even have a dog that can be in the commercial as we walk down the beach together.

Here is why SB refuses to go along with my idea.

It actually requires the two of us setting up online dating profiles.More importantly, it requires the two of us going a series of dates with losers for a few months.They would also probably request that SB wears a cable knit turtleneck sweater on the beach in the commercial.

Here is why I think we should

$5,000 for every commercial they shoot featuring our profile.

They will never find out we lied to them.

I want to be on TV.

I am more than willing to let my boyfriend take this lady out for some chicken fingers, if it means making $5000.00

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5 responses to “Owner of a lonely heart

  1. Replacing me with a website. It’s like the beginning of Terminator, replacing people with machines. It’s a slippery slope you’re on, I just want you to know that.

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