Who the F#*k still uses a payphone?

This broad, that’s who. 

So this buying a cell phone thing isn’t working out at all. I went into the store and found myself overwhelmed and intimidated. I felt like I was in some sort of prestigious bar. Everything was so white and shinny and better than me. The kid waiting on me even had a jaw line beard just like the kind a real judgmental douche bag who would make fun of me in a bar would have. 

 I’m looking for three qualities in a phone, 1. Call People. 2. Ring when people call me.  3. Take a photo without a flash going off. He started going on about how I could talk to all my friends on MSN with the first phone he showed me. The last time I chatted with a friend over an instant messaging system was back in 1998 on ICQ. Why they hell would I want anyone instant messaging me all time? If I wanted to talk to someone instantly would I not call them on this mother fucking phone I’m about to buy!

This decision might have to go on hold for a while; maybe I should just stick with my 35mm and a telescopic lens for taking creepy pics of people when they’re not looking. Or perhaps go back to 1940 where I would fit in just fine.


2 responses to “Who the F#*k still uses a payphone?

  1. You should be making fun of douches, not be the one afraid of them mocking you! That’s like giving in to douche terrorism.

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