This just in…I’m a horrible person!


I’m sorry, but can we just take a moment to acknowledge that this wedding dress being worn by Angelina Jolie featuring her kids sub par art work is fucking hideous?? I realize I’m not a parent and I’ve never experienced the magical feeling of having a child create something just for me…But this dress is just plain awful.

 

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The owls are not what they seem


So Burger King has purchased Tim Horton’s. I’m hoping this brings forth a few changes…

1. Toasted bagels instead of warmed dough slathered in butter thrown into a see through greasy bag.

2. Three point check system for hot beverages. Is the lid secure? Did you make sure  not to place the mouth of the lid on the seam of the cup? Did you wipe the coffee you spilled all over the side from over pouring into the cup? It goes without saying that they have made my beverage order correctly…although they fuck up my tea with milk at least twice a month.

3. Maybe if your store motto is Always Fresh you actually prepare things that way.

4. Bring back the old sprinkles for the vanilla dip. The new ones are fucking awful, it’s like a mouthful of blue chalk!

5. Bring back the Cherry Pie.

6. Nice lids, you have them in your store. If I order an over priced hot chocolate, I can have one. Just start using them all the time!!!

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This better not interfere with my Wendy’s Spicy Chicken Sandwich consumption! I swear to god, I will go ape-shit it does!

 

 

 

 

Saving’ all your food stamps and burning’ down the trailer park.


Normally Facebook friend recommendations couldn’t be more off . I think we all remember the Tyrone Debrown incident… (White friends, there is no need to post in Ebonics, that’s just plain racist!)But I’d love to know what I have in common with some of the people Facebook recommends I befriend…Take the guy below, He’s like 80 and can’t operate a camera. Yet social media thinks we could have some things in common.I bet we both enjoy eating supper at 5pm and wearing slippers around the house.

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But I’m in love with this couple! I can already tell based on their profile pic, they’re better than me. For starters they have a fucking owl at their wedding and secondly he looks like Lord Baelish! They look like the kind of couple who purchase a normal size bottle of wine and only drink a glass of it at dinner, instead of a magnum that’s empty within three hours and then have no memory of going to bed after watching a marathon of Twin Peaks on a Friday Night.

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This post totally contradicts what I said yesterday…


I wish to god someone would make a rule that cashiers have to stop asking you to donate money every time you’re at a checkout.  I don’t mind giving donations to charity. I’ll buy things from my friends kids to support schools and programing, if an organization comes to my door I’ll gladly give $20.00 to them. But NOTHING sets me over the edge more than going to pay for my groceries or an item at Wal-Mart and having a multi billion dollar corporation ask me to give them money for a charity. Here’s why…

Our money is going towards one giant tax write off for these large corporations. Most of these stores do not match your donation either. Also, why am I giving money to the food bank and breakfast programs on behalf of a grocery store that throws out thousands of dollars worth of food everyday instead of donating it?

I have a hard time saying no when asked to give, but what I hate even more than being asking to give a dollar ( I know it’s not a lot, but when you get asked every-time you’re at the fucking store it adds up) is to give an open-ended donation. When you say yes, thinking you’re giving a dollar or two they come back with ” Is $5.00 an OK amount?” What the hell are you supposed to say to that ? You can’t say, No I just want to give a dollar…

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Every time I say no to the cashier, I feel like this woman from TLC’s Extreme Cheapskates. She has a perfectly good roll of toilet paper in that washroom but insists on using a squirt bottle instead…

What it takes, who I am, where I’ve been.


I’m on a quest. With the days leading up to our wedding, I’m going to make myself less cunty to the general public. Don’t get me wrong, I’m an amazing friend , daughter, sister, aunt and soon to be wife. But I’m going to try to be a little nicer to the GP. I’ve already committed one random act of kindness this morning, I paid for an item when someone realized they forgot their wallet. However, I also told an old man to fuck off in a Tim Horton’s parking lot. ( For real, I thought SB was going to get in a fist fight with a senior!) So I might have to work on a balancing system.

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Who knows what my next act will be, maybe I’ll buy you a coffee or bake something for you. Maybe when I see your over sized child perfectly capable of walking sitting in a shopping cart I’ll keep my comments to myself!

It’s My Annual Cunty Valentine’s Day Post!


I feel that all men need to realize that a stuffed animal is the worst Valentines Day gift ever.  As a grown woman, I have never looked at my bed and thought to myself…I could really use some more stuffed animals on this thing. I can assure you, there is no place on an adult bed for a giant gorilla holding a pillow that reads I Love You!

2f_stuffed12232001202240Guys, If you can’t just throw all her stuffed animals onto the floor when you get into bed. She’s going to be weird. Like enjoys collecting burnt image wooden mugs you will never be permitted to drink from weird.

Ladies of Pictou County, stop selling free formula and or formula coupons online!!!


I’ve been readmitted to the Pictou County Mr.Barter’s page. I just have to keep my snippy comments to myself, or at least off their page. I actually use this page and a person can find great deals here. However, you have to wade through a lot of shit sometimes.

Along with people looking for things in prestige condition for next to nothing of free, some of my personal favorites are the people who sell used products that have no business being resold… Candles with at least another hour of burn life, 1/4 of a bag of pet food, items that come free with a case of beer. The photo below is my find of the week!!

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My best offer is to bury these at sea, so they can’t come to life on the anniversary of its creators death and kill people in their sleep.